Gay Pride Parade aka Beautiful Men Skelena Can't Date Parade

After never making it in TO, I finally went to my first Gay Pride Parade. It would have been great if it weren't for the shitty Chicago weather which goes like this:

Warm and sunny/cold and rainy/warm and sunny/cold, windy, and rainy/overcast but warm/cold/cold/cold/cold.

In total, I probably saw ~16 boobs and only 1 dong. I thought I'd see more but...what can you do. The parade had a large political component with many aldermen and such participating (the major of Chicago wasn't in the parade though booo). In addition, a huge Obama mob walked through the parade (pictured below) chanting "YES WE CAN!" I thought I'd see more sequins/feathers/spangles but it wasn't overly glitzy. I tried to capture the most interesting floats. I missed the float with the men in pink speedos and the topless lesbian float but...this is the best I could do considering I'm the worst photographer ever:

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The Government Is Far Too Generous

Remember my various rants about how I paid $265 for a blood test, then got hounded months later for more money? I'm too lazy to link back to my previous posts. Anyway, I finally got my fat reimbursement check from the government. After filling out multiple forms, getting the necessary documentation, and waiting several months, the end result is a cheque for...$11.90. Totally worth the effort.

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So You Think You Can Dance?

Not anymore I don't. Last night I went to my first salsa dancing class. Unfortunately, I didn't know ahead of time that it wasn't a beginner's class. I had to grab a partner and join a large circle in an arabian-themed ballroom. The instructor would demonstrate a series of moves, then we had to replicate them. Not only could I not remember the dance steps because there were so many of them, but even if I could remember them I wouldn't have been able to perform them. One step that went particularly badly was a move involving my partner picking me up and twirl me around. I am then supposed to land "gracefully" on one leg, then slide back into a lunge. Most guys there were polite and said "good try" with a forced smile but finally one guy told me, "that was pretty bad." At that point I left the circle and sat in a corner :(

After the lesson ended, the free dance began. I felt like I was back at my grade 8 dance, waiting for someone to ask me to dance (no one did). I sat in a chair, listening to "Black Hole Sun", watching everyone else partner up. Fortunately, this dance had a better ending - some pervy drunk guy weaved his way over to me and offered to show me basic salsa steps. Seeing no other appealing offer, I accepted. He proceeded to tell me how much he drank that night, how I have a "beautiful smile", and then repeatedly stepped on my feet. Despite this, I can now hold my own doing a basic 1-2-3 step!

So What's New?

I don't really know how to respond to that question. I appreciate that people are interested in the goings-on of my life, but honestly...as a grad student, what could possibly be interesting AND new in my life? Anything worth talking about is on this blog. If you ask what is new in addition to this blog, you're going to be disappointed.

My grandma called me on Saturday night and asked 'what's new?'. I struggled to come up with something. "Uh...I got a new vacuum - no more crumbs!" She wasn't satisfied with that response. "Yes, but what's new and exciting?" she pressed. I told her about a presentation for school and a new recipe I was trying. A pause. "Dear, it's Saturday night, why aren't you out with your friends?" I looked down at my pajamas (aka 'jammie-jams') and said I didn't feel like getting changed.

Folks, if you really want to know what's new with me, than read on. If you don't want to be bored to tears, I encourage you to stop now.

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1. I got $20 worth of coupons for a grocery home delivery service. One less reason to go outside.
2. I can't stop watching 'Deadliest Catch' and 'When We Left Earth' on Discovery Channel.
3. I now have calf muscles. New goal: thigh muscles by summer's end.
4. My nephew recently told my mom that he misses me and wants me to come home*
5. My gym is getting an elliptical and stationary bike!
6. My new shoes made my feet bleed.

See? I'm scraping the barrel.

* OK, that's a pretty important one.

I Gotta Pay the Bills Somehow

When you google my first and last name, a Russian discussion board comes up as part of the search. This is a website where people try to obtain porn. Why is my name on there you ask? Apparently, someone is trying to locate a porn video made in Ukraine and someone named Skelena Bazentine is in the movie or is somehow involved...

As I said to Eric, if the person's last name was more Eastern European I wouldn't have thought this was weird. But Bazentine isn't even close to being Ukrainian, not to mention being a shitty porn name...I think I should get a cut of whatever this chick is making from my likeness.

Special thanks go to Alex for translating. Happy now Alex? ;)

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