See How I Live

The other day I ran out of food and was starving. I bought a plastic jug of milk at the corner convenience store so I could eat a bowl of cereal when I got home from class. The milk was in a plastic shopping bag. As I entered my kitchen to put the milk in the fridge, the bag broke. Unexpectedly, the milk container had also broken, and started leaking my precious milk all over my carpeted kitchen. Panicking, I grabbed my wok and poured the remaining milk into it while, sadly, the rest of the milk absorbed into my carpet.

So, for the past two days I have been ladeling out milk from my wok into my coffee and cereal bowl. 'Why not put the milk in a juice pitcher' you ask? Because dear reader, I (accidently) melted it. One day I will look back on my days of poverty and laugh. Right now, I need another wok for my tears.

Slang

After watching Saturday Night Live, I found out what the term 'glory hole' means.

Hire Me

Nothing much is happening right now other than applying for my first clinical placement. I have 2 interviews booked so far and received one ambiguous email regarding the possibility of a future interview...maybe...we'll see what happens with that one. Regardless, it's time to put on my big girl clothes and hope I appear competent.

My mom's advice: wear lipstick and a skirt. Apparently that's all it takes. Anyone else have interview tips?

Bazentine's Day

Courtesy of my friend:

Q: What did the French chef give to his wife for Bazentine's Day?
A: A hug and a quiche.

Yuk yuk yuk.

So today I went grocery shopping and passed the Hallmark card isle. Huddled together were about 6-7 dudes frantically picking out last minute Bazentine's Day cards for their wives/gfs. I hope I never date anyone who would a) buy me a card or b) buy one at the last minute from a grocery store.

Analysis Please

So last night I had a strange dream. I was at Stephen Harper's house having a discussion about Canadian politics. His wife was out of the house for some reason. The weird thing was (well, weirder than the premise of the dream itself), we were talking on his bed, lying on our stomachs with our legs bent at the knee, feet crossed at the ankles. It appeared as though we were two girlfriends chatting about boys we liked at school, rather than having a serious discussion about Afghanistan. I distinctly remember a frilled dust ruffle.

Suddenly, the phone in his office rang and he had to dash. While I had a chance, I decided to do some snooping. Past several other offices and a spare bedroom, I discovered a massive bathroom. He had a bathtub that was the size of an entire room that was lined with bubble jets. As I turned back at his direction to give him a judgmental look I woke up.

Thoughts?

Early views of homosexuality

For one of my papers I have to review the history of sexual orientation research. Here is how the author of one book from the 1960s summarized the research on lesbians:



"A homosexual female has been characterized by a firm adipose tissue, deficient fat at the shoulders and at the girdle, firm muscles, excess hair on the chest, back and lower extremities, a tendency to masculine distribution of the public hair and a small uterus and over-or underdevelopment of the labia and clitoris. There is also a tendency toward a shorter trunk, a contracted pelvis, underdevelopment of the breasts, excessive hair on the face, and a low pitched voice."

The Early Bird Gets Worms

*poof*

*poof*