I Was Run Over by a Car Today

Can you guess which foot was run over by a car?




Idiot making a right on red. I have the right of way and start crossing the street. She looks left, I'm coming from the right, she presses the gas pedal before looking right. I try to stop walking, realizing in horror that she's about to hit me, skid forwards with my left foot [I'm on ice]. She runs over my foot and I fall backwards on the road while punching the hood of her car to make her aware that I'm there.

The best part? SHE starts yelling at ME because *I* wasn't looking where I was going.

Amazingly, nothing was broken, just a little tender. She did get my good foot, so now I am balanced with two quasi-gimpy feet.

The sad thing is, if I were actually hurt, I would have had to drag myself home, get my health insurance card, call my HMO and tell them I was hit BEFORE going to a hospital or else nothing would be covered.

I know I'm going to die here, I just don't know when.

Skelena Bazentine goes to Chicago...eventually

This post may be a review for some of you but in case you missed it, I had an interesting start to the new year...

JANUARY 1

My mom and I got in a car accident on the highway during a blizzard in Michigan. We skidded on some ice, spun around a few times, and bounced off some guard rails over a bridge while crossing 3 lanes of traffic. Once we stopped, another truck was skidding towards us so we had to run out of the way down the highway and over the guard rails to prevent getting smooshed. A police officer came to our rescue and took us to the hospital to get checked out. Nothing was broken, but some of my furniture wasn't so lucky. Some kobasa and cheese was missing and were presumed dead. The truck was totaled - the front end was totally smashed, it wouldn't start, the back door was busted and the sides actually wrenched away from the bottom. Luckily this was all covered by insurance so we crashed at a local Ramada which had, amazingly, a jungle theme. I felt like I was home.

JANUARY 2

We got a new truck and I called my apartment manager to let her know I would be arriving late. She refused to speak to me directly but told the doorwoman that I was not allowed to move in after 5pm. However, I did not have anyone to help me move before 5pm and due to the accident, I was unable to turn/look to my right. I used my best Adult Calm Rational Voice to explain why there needed to be an exception made, but no dice. [Soul being crushed...]. So I emailed a bunch of moving companies and hoped they emailed me tomorrow. Oh well, at least I'll have 3 hours to move in when I get there!

We made it about 40 miles down the road [still in Michigan] when my mom realized she left my laptop at the hotel... So we turned around and started to head back when we promptly got caught in another snowstorm. We managed to get the laptop and then crashed at a local sketch motel. As we were unloading some things from the truck, we locked the keys inside. We actually did that. After paying a U-Haul dude to open the door, we went to bed. [Anger rising...].

JANUARY 3

We actually made it to my apartment! The building manager via the doorman [still refusing to talk to me, she was on "vacation"] was a bitch and gave me a hard time about being late (!!) . Then I was told I had TWO hours to move in, not three. When I said that I was promised 3 hours, it was like talking to Burt Reynolds on Celebrity Jeopardy:

"You said I had 3 hours to move in..."
"No I didn't"
"Yes, you DID"
"Well, that's your opinion"

The movers called me at the apartment to say they wouldn't be there for 2.5 hours. Oh, and no one knew where my mail key was, and my landlord lied to me about having a storage unit for all my crap. When I got to my apartment, it was filled with old lady jazz like wicker lamps and RIPPED UNDERWEAR [more details in next post]. Since the manager still refused to talk to me, I sat in the truck and, I don't mind telling you, started crying.

At this point, the doorwoman took pity on me and said I could have all the time I wanted. The movers eventually arrived, all my stuff was put together, and I got my paws on my mail key [however, all my mail was not there because I failed to register my mailbox so that's another battle yet to be fought]. So I am alive, well, and things are starting to come up Bazentine.

I'll try to make my next post not as long, I'd be amazed if any of you made it to the end of this.