Update

Rest assured, when I get back to Chicago I will post an "after" photo showing how well my behavioural modification plan turned out for my dishes. Feel the suspense!

In the meantime I am presently languishing at my mother's house dying of food poisoning. I ate a rotten omlette in the Midway airport before I flew to Buffalo and haven't been the same since. I can't go anywhere or do anything. Fortunately my mom was around to take care of me...until she gave herself food poisoning by eating 9 day old leftovers. So now we're both sick, stuck on the couch watching episode after episode of Criminal Minds.

We tried to make a list of foods we can eat without making us sick (it's a short list). Actual conversation:

Me: "Ok what about pickles?"
Mom: "I've got some Klassen's upstairs in the fridge."
Me: "Will pickles destroy my stomach?"
Mom: "I don't know, it's a good pickle."