Why Living In Other Countries Is Bad Part 2

January 12 2009: I finally access my email from Scotiabank about my cheque that is floating around in limbo. Would you believe that in the age of computers, internet, and after the invention of FAX and TELEGRAPH this is how banks cash international cheques:

1. American bank puts a hold on a foreign cheque for 30 days, then sends it on "collection." This is to confirm that the cheque can be cashed. In this process, the request to cash the cheque is sent VIA SNAIL MAIL to my bank in Canada.

2. The Canadian bank receives the cheque and responds "immediately" VIA SNAIL MAIL AGAIN.

3. Once the American bank receives the confirmation, the cheque is cashed.

Unfortunately, I tried to cash my cheque right before Christmas which apparently "slowed this process considerably."

You're telling me no one can pick up a bloody phone? Or scan the cheque and email the image to the Canadian bank? There is no other way to do this other than regular mail? So I'm paying bank fees all over the place and getting 19th century banking services.

According to my Canadian bank there is no estimate on when my cheque can be cashed. Because, much like determining if Creed had sex with a man, it would be impossible to tell.