Procrastination

Things I should be doing instead of writing this post:

- studying for midterm
- studying for final (onlie course)
- revising manuscript
- removing very dead ladybugs from my old lady lamp
- vaccuuming up circles of paper that leaked out of my hole punch
- cleaning carpet stain from oozing garbage (*shame*)
- cleaning garbage pail full of oozing garbage and space below to which garbage pail is stuck
- wash dirty dirty dishes
- recycling piles of paper and assorted plastic in hallway
- picking up all my clothes off floor in mini-office
- working on boring project due June 14
- getting shaggy hair cut
- working out
- living la vida loca
- reaching for the stars
- shaking that ass
- living the high life
- flying far, far far away from here

My Morning

This morning I walked in the rain to catch my bus. Since it was rush hour naturally there were no buses. Three eventually came but were so full I couldn't get on. I got soaked from the rain because umbrella was turned inside out repeatedly because of the wind. I finally got on the bus and arrived downtown only to slip on the wet marble floor in the atrium of my school. I fell. Hard. My stick limbs flailed about wildly trying in vain to save myself. I landed on my stomach ontop of my laptop, lunch, and iPod. A crowd gathered. I picked up my smooshed dignity and lunch off the floor and made it to the elevator to sit through five hours of useless class. How's your day going?

Addictive Disorders

I'm currently taking a course about addictive disorders and am reading an interesting history of drugs and alcohol use. I wanted to share some tidbits that I found most striking.

First, here is an advertisement for laughing gas from 1845 (I don't know how to center text...). Bold emphasis mine:

***************************************************************
A GRAND EXHIBITION OF THE EFFECTS PRODUCED BY INHALING NITROUS OXIDE, EXHILERATING, OR LAUGHING GAS

will be given at Masonic Hall Saturday evening 5pm

30 Gallons of gas will be prepared and administered to all in the audience who desire to inhale it.

Men will be invited from the audience to protect those under the influence of the gas from injuring themselves or others. This course is adopted thatno apprehension of danger may be entertained. Probably no one will attempt to fight.

N.B. The gas will be administered only to gentlemen of the first respectiability. The object is to make the entertainment in every respect, a genteel affair.
***************************************************************

The second thing I found to be unbelievable was an ad in a Sears catalogue from 1897 for a drug kit (retail price $2.75). The kit looks like a large flask. When opened, it contains a reusable syringe and several virals of drugs containing opium, cocaine, and heroin.

What a party the 19th century must have been.

*poof*

*poof*

*poof*

*poof*

Do You Have CIAS?

So I was talking to my Canadian friend today about how I might sometimes come across as snotty to Americans because I get a bit defensive living in the US. She reassured me: "Dude you're not snotty, you have that newly arrived Canadian in the US thing going on. It will pass, trust me."

We're suggesting a new category be added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM): Canadians in America Syndrome (CIAS).

Description:
Newly arrived Canadians in the US have a tendency to be very ego protecting. This includes symptoms like:

- Unneccesary discussion of universal health care
- Gratefulness for taxes, speaking ad nauseum about the wonderful things you get from paying taxes
- Mentioning having never seen a medical bill before in your entire life to everyone you come in contact with
- Repeated comparisons of grocery stores and the prices of fast food vs. produce in each country
- Pointing out every Canadian actor and musician as they appear in TV or film to your American friends
- Casually working the "calibre of your education compared to Americans" into conversations
- Remarking upon the lack of Canadian content in American TV and music
- Discussing the differences between portion sizes in Canada and America in restaurants
- Discovering Canadians had accents upon returning home
- Discuss the superiority of Tim Horton's coffee with your friends when drinking any brand of American coffee
- Constantly flash Canadian money in front of Americans and remark a) how pretty it is; b) how you cannot tell denominations of American money apart
- Go out of your way to watch Canadian media i.e., download CBC podcasts
- Constantly mention returning to Canada as if you will only be staying temporarily
- Constantly pointing out the Canadian ways of saying things and refuse to change, i.e., saying 'touque' and refusing to say 'hat'
- Writing all reports using Canadian spelling
- Throw in the parliamentary system into casual conversation and then when Americans admit they don't understand it, you explain it to them and act like it's better
- Saying any of the following:
"Well, we have ketchup chips. They're good"
"Oh my favourite chocolate bar is an AERO. You don't have them here"
"Oh you call this soda? We call this pop. Soda sounds so 1950s"
"Oh, you call those Smarties? In Canada Smarties are chocolate. We call these Rockets."


Signs of Recovery:
- Acknowledgement that there are benefits to private health insurance and wish that there was some middle ground
- Cessation of automatically adding tax to your purchases
- Preference for American brands of some foods
- Appreciation for the lower cost of living even though the lack of taxes = no social support
- Assimilate your language to avoid comments/undue attention i.e., saying 'zee' instead of 'zed'
- Begin to bitch about Canadian airfare and how ridiculous rates are to fly over the border
- Realize that prices in the US are cheaper, especially jeans, and refuse to buy things in Canada
- Move from outrage that you have to have insurance to grateful that you have it through the university

If you or someone else you care about is experiencing symptoms of CIAS, please know that there is hope. For the vast majority of Canadians living in the US, symptoms tend to dissipate within 6 months to three years.

Aquarium Fun

This past weekend a friend from university stayed with me while she was in town for a conference. On Saturday we ventured to the Shedd Aquarium for some good times. Here are the highlights:

I knew these existed - it's official, I'm never swimming in natural bodies of water again. Beware of the Great Freshwater Ray Uprising!


This poor little guy tipped over while walking on a branch and got trapped on his back. Every once in a while he'd flail his legs around trying to right himself. A crowd eventually gathered to watch him *almost make it* time and time again ("Oh!! OOOHHH!!! This time!!!!) only to see him fall back on his back ("Aaawwwwwwwwww").







Finally after using his feet and head to propel him over...success! The crowd cheered until they realized the turtle was giving us a deathstare, probably for not helping him...Someone in the crowd joked that the staff occasionally flip the turtles over to give the tourists a show ;)



Creepiest thing under the sea? I'd say this is a contender:



We thought something sexy was happening here...*snicker*



The fish in the bottom left hand corner is a mandarin fish and is ridiculously pretty:



This guy would follow us while we walked from one side of the tank to the other. He was seriously freaking out and looked like he was desperately trying to tell us something. He was bonking his head against the glass and flailing his arms and legs wildly. Finally, he scrambled his way to the top of the tank, got some air, and then chilled right out. We're guessing he's a little slow and forgot where they kept the air.