The Joy and Horror of Christmas

Going home was quite the adventure this year. Among the highlights:

- White Cowbell Oklahoma concert
- Getting pulled over in Toronto with Eric for making a right-hand turn at a 4-way stop (bunch of savages in that town)
- Rear-ending someone's brand new car in Etobicoke (the crash summarizes my cmas break on a metaphorical level)
- Finding out my eyes had "melted" a little bit from an eye doctor
- Hearing that my grandpa had a mistress who "probably" has his violin according to my uncle
- Engaged in two separate, ridiculous, and unrelated feuds with my grandma
- Having a cold throughout most of this

There is so much more but it's unbloggable. I will share some topics that were discussed over cmas dinner by my family...and only my family:

- Jamaican gun crime
- My mom's plan to get dental work completed in a drug-infested Mexican border town
- Lost, stolen, or broken family heirlooms
- Hitler
- The death of several family members and how there has never been laughter since nor will there ever be
- Casual mention of an impending death (Seriously. While we're eating. And grandma thought we all knew. We didn't.)
- Biscotti

Most of my family had fights with each other multiple times over the 11 days I was home. But somehow we pulled it together to have a normal evening together opening presents, laughing, and even singing cmas carols while I played the piano. We may have even liked each other for awhile. And I suppose that made all the crying, shouting, crashing, melting, and feuding worth it...But I still wouldn't want to do this more than once a year.

Locked-in Syndrome

You may have heard in the news that doctors discovered a man has locked-in syndrome after being in what was thought to be a vegetative state for over two decades. Except it seems he doesn't actually have locked-in syndrome. Turns out a therapist was using facilitated communication . This is a discredited approach to help those with autism, locked-in syndrome or other disorders communicate with others.

Anyway, while I was learning about locked-in syndrome I came across articles about a man who actually had it. Jean-Dominique Bauby had a stroke in his brainstem which is the part of the brain that, among other things, transmits signals from the cerebellum (brain meat involved with movement) and cerebrum (brain meat involved with thinking, speaking, and carrying out action). He was completely paralyzed except for his left eye. While in hospital he wrote a book about his experience called The Diving Bell and the Butterfly which he blinked, one letter at a time, to someone who translated his blinks.

I just watched the movie based on the book (same title) and I highly recommend watching it. A friend of mine recently mentioned a quote that said something like 'you've never fully experienced anything until you've told someone about it.' I thought of that quote while watching the film because the viewer is privy to the character's inner monologue but he is unable to verbalize the majoritiy of it to anyone else in the film. The movie does a good job of helping the viewer feel somewhat claustrophobic by making portions of the video from the perspective of Jean-Do complete with occasional blurry eyes and a cringe-worthy moment when the doctor sews one eye shut. Anyway, just go watch it so we can talk about it :P

Christmas Break

Because I have to have a crazy amount of practicum hours yet to clock, I'm not able to come home for very long this year. I'll be in Ontario from December 16-27. On the 18th I'll be at the White Cowbell Oklahoma Christmas show so I hope all you Toronto people can make it.

For the rest of the break I will be watching seasons 4 and 5 of Boston Legal while eating the following:

Maroc clementines
President's Choice Candycane icecream
Apple pie
Ukrainian meatpies

Please swing by my mom's house if you'd like to join.

American Thanksgiving

I spent American Thanksgiving at one of my Chicago friend's house with a big mob of family and friends. The dress code was the usual Sweatpant Casual which is a good thing because we pretty much ate from 2pm - midnight. Unfortunately there weren't as many inappropriate incidents as last year (drug-induced naps, grinding and making out at the dining room table...) but there was one uncomfortable story about my friend's mom's new black boyfriend (she emphasized black several times...) who likes to sing karaoke to gay men. We quickly changed the topic.

I ended up playing xBox with my friend and her brothers all night until we literally passed out on the couches/chairs. The next day we watched Deadliest Catch (still wearing our sweatpants) for hours, then Mommy Dearest. If you haven't seen this movie then I highly recommend it. I've never seen a freakout that is as epic as Faye Dunaway (playing Joan Crawford) screaming at her kid for using metal hangers. She's all kinds of crazy and has several meltdowns which begin around the 4 minute mark. Yikes, as if her eyebrows weren't scary enough.

And then I went home. The end.

Umbrella Death Count Rising

The windy winds of Chicago have claimed the lives of 3 of my umbrellas since January 2008. The death toll is expected to rise in the next few years. Yesterday, literally half of my umbrella was bent and blown away leaving me to cower under the remaining shreds. This is getting expensive.

A Day in the Life

So much of my life is unfortunately unbloggable. However, I can share one ridiculous day when I couldn't stop asking myself a la Office Space, "Is today the worst day of your life?" I actually did this to myself.

Set up:

I keep all of my pills on top of my fridge in an attempt to be organized. I always take pills at night.

What happened:

I got up really early (5:30am) to get ready for my day. I was very groggy and when I opened my blinds the sun wasn't up yet. I remember thinking, "It seems like it's night right now." Somehow in my confusion I thought it was time for bed (I don't get much sleep these days...), so I started taking out the pills I usually take at night. As I shuffled around I felt a pill under my foot - it was a stray Benadryl that fell out of its package. When I picked it up I reflexively put it in my mouth and swallowed it.

The second the pill went down my throat I said out loud, "Oh my god." Benadryl, if you don't know, makes you very drowsy. Not only did I have class that day for 3 hours, but I also had to see a patient for an assessment. I finally realized what time it actually was and panic set in.

My first thought was to throw it up. I rarely ever barf and it's only after writhing around in pain for hours. But I couldn't bail on my patient. So I pulled up my big girl panties, tied my hair back, and marched into the bathroom. If you've ever tried to make yourself throw up you'll know that sticking your fingers down your throat is one of the most disgusting things you can do. It took me several attempts just to get my fingers far enough to make me gag. And gag I did. Tears welled up in my eyes. But nothing. Just some weak retching and pouting. This wasn't going to work.

Next, I brewed the strongest cup of coffee known to man and chugged it. I figured if I kept drinking coffee all day I'd be fine. When I got to class I told my friend to hit me if I started falling asleep in class and got more coffee. I managed to make it through the rest of the day with only mild shakes from obscene amounts of coffee. I think the fear of falling asleep was enough to keep me alert. My patient got tested, I made it home, and I survived. *shame*

Post script:

The Benadryl has been moved to my pantry where I can't accidentally eat it in the morning. The end.

Where Are You?

I'm still here. Mostly I haven't posted anything because I've been insanely busy - my days are spent either at practicum, work, or class. As a result, I have nothing much to say.

I have squeezed in a few interesting things though. Last week I served kosher food to homeless people/people in need and over the weekend I went to Dave and Busters where I discovered I'm a decent Skeeball player. I also went to the Chicago International Film Festival last month and saw Short Changed which was so choice.

On the weekends I am usually found enjoying the freakishly warm weather (seriously, I was out last night a short sleeved shirt, jeans, and shoes no socks) and eating crazy gelato at this place down the street. I recently tried sweet potato and maple syrup , wedding cake, and black pepper gelato. They also had sweet corn gelato but I'm saving that one for another day.

So that's about it really. Happy American Thanksgiving!