Comps

For the past 2 months I've been working on my comprehensive exam which is a medieval torture device used by graduate institutions. It has been nothing short of ridiculously time consuming and aggravating but I finally submitted the written portion today. I now have at least two weeks to prepare for my oral defence which means I am constructing the Binder of Champions. This includes articles, book segments, and testing instrument manuals that I cite to justify my diagnosis and methods of assessment. I bring this in the defence with me and use it to shield my body from scary questions.

To give you a visual of how busy/chaotic my life has been I'm posting a few photos of the comps bomb that went off in my apartment. For those of you who have lived with me (sorry) you're already used to the carnage so this shouldn't be surprising. However, I'd like to think I've gotten better over the years. Apparently I easily slip into my old habits...

La Vie en Rose

I know I haven't given an update in a long time but it's mostly because my life is wildly unbloggable. But here's a tidbit I'll share.

I woke up with pink eye. After consulting with the Queen of Pink Eye, I went to Walgreens (the American shoppers) and asked the pharmacist for polysporin eye drops (they're over-the-counter in Canada and cost a few bucks). But you guessed it - they're prescription only in the US. To see a doctor out-of-pocket would be at least $45. My insurance doesn't cover eye exams so I'd have to see a GP. To do that, I'd have to find out which doctor is in my network and make an appointment, then get the prescription filled. This would probably take a whole day and I don't have that kind of time because I'm trying to finish comprehensive exams.

To solve this clusterfuck, I'm having my sister fedex some eye drops tonight so I'll have them tomorrow. While I'm waiting, I'm going to get some homework done then watch the Olympics with my good eye. Go Johnny Weir!!!!!

**********Update**********

My attempt to have the drops mailed to me has been foiled by the FDA. Apparently, my sister has to fill out reams of paperwork explaining why I need these drops, why I can't get them in the states, and it has to be clear that they're going to me and no one else. In addition, it would cost somewher ebetween $60-80 to have the drops fedex'd to me overnight. The kicker: even if we did all this, there's a chance I wouldn't be able to receive the drops because they're technically a prescription drug in the states. So now I'm calling around trying to find a cheap clinic. Pretty soon my eye is going to start leaking blood. The saga continues...

The Joy and Horror of Christmas

Going home was quite the adventure this year. Among the highlights:

- White Cowbell Oklahoma concert
- Getting pulled over in Toronto with Eric for making a right-hand turn at a 4-way stop (bunch of savages in that town)
- Rear-ending someone's brand new car in Etobicoke (the crash summarizes my cmas break on a metaphorical level)
- Finding out my eyes had "melted" a little bit from an eye doctor
- Hearing that my grandpa had a mistress who "probably" has his violin according to my uncle
- Engaged in two separate, ridiculous, and unrelated feuds with my grandma
- Having a cold throughout most of this

There is so much more but it's unbloggable. I will share some topics that were discussed over cmas dinner by my family...and only my family:

- Jamaican gun crime
- My mom's plan to get dental work completed in a drug-infested Mexican border town
- Lost, stolen, or broken family heirlooms
- Hitler
- The death of several family members and how there has never been laughter since nor will there ever be
- Casual mention of an impending death (Seriously. While we're eating. And grandma thought we all knew. We didn't.)
- Biscotti

Most of my family had fights with each other multiple times over the 11 days I was home. But somehow we pulled it together to have a normal evening together opening presents, laughing, and even singing cmas carols while I played the piano. We may have even liked each other for awhile. And I suppose that made all the crying, shouting, crashing, melting, and feuding worth it...But I still wouldn't want to do this more than once a year.

Locked-in Syndrome

You may have heard in the news that doctors discovered a man has locked-in syndrome after being in what was thought to be a vegetative state for over two decades. Except it seems he doesn't actually have locked-in syndrome. Turns out a therapist was using facilitated communication . This is a discredited approach to help those with autism, locked-in syndrome or other disorders communicate with others.

Anyway, while I was learning about locked-in syndrome I came across articles about a man who actually had it. Jean-Dominique Bauby had a stroke in his brainstem which is the part of the brain that, among other things, transmits signals from the cerebellum (brain meat involved with movement) and cerebrum (brain meat involved with thinking, speaking, and carrying out action). He was completely paralyzed except for his left eye. While in hospital he wrote a book about his experience called The Diving Bell and the Butterfly which he blinked, one letter at a time, to someone who translated his blinks.

I just watched the movie based on the book (same title) and I highly recommend watching it. A friend of mine recently mentioned a quote that said something like 'you've never fully experienced anything until you've told someone about it.' I thought of that quote while watching the film because the viewer is privy to the character's inner monologue but he is unable to verbalize the majoritiy of it to anyone else in the film. The movie does a good job of helping the viewer feel somewhat claustrophobic by making portions of the video from the perspective of Jean-Do complete with occasional blurry eyes and a cringe-worthy moment when the doctor sews one eye shut. Anyway, just go watch it so we can talk about it :P

Christmas Break

Because I have to have a crazy amount of practicum hours yet to clock, I'm not able to come home for very long this year. I'll be in Ontario from December 16-27. On the 18th I'll be at the White Cowbell Oklahoma Christmas show so I hope all you Toronto people can make it.

For the rest of the break I will be watching seasons 4 and 5 of Boston Legal while eating the following:

Maroc clementines
President's Choice Candycane icecream
Apple pie
Ukrainian meatpies

Please swing by my mom's house if you'd like to join.

American Thanksgiving

I spent American Thanksgiving at one of my Chicago friend's house with a big mob of family and friends. The dress code was the usual Sweatpant Casual which is a good thing because we pretty much ate from 2pm - midnight. Unfortunately there weren't as many inappropriate incidents as last year (drug-induced naps, grinding and making out at the dining room table...) but there was one uncomfortable story about my friend's mom's new black boyfriend (she emphasized black several times...) who likes to sing karaoke to gay men. We quickly changed the topic.

I ended up playing xBox with my friend and her brothers all night until we literally passed out on the couches/chairs. The next day we watched Deadliest Catch (still wearing our sweatpants) for hours, then Mommy Dearest. If you haven't seen this movie then I highly recommend it. I've never seen a freakout that is as epic as Faye Dunaway (playing Joan Crawford) screaming at her kid for using metal hangers. She's all kinds of crazy and has several meltdowns which begin around the 4 minute mark. Yikes, as if her eyebrows weren't scary enough.

And then I went home. The end.

Umbrella Death Count Rising

The windy winds of Chicago have claimed the lives of 3 of my umbrellas since January 2008. The death toll is expected to rise in the next few years. Yesterday, literally half of my umbrella was bent and blown away leaving me to cower under the remaining shreds. This is getting expensive.